My Worst Day Ever - Motorhead

Today I name names. i said that I wouldn't but enough people have heard this story that if I tried to fudge it most would figure it out. So, for those of you who haven't heard it, hear it goes...

In 1986 (was it really that long ago) I was working for Attic Records and we were about to put out the new Motorhead album, Orgasmatron. I was pretty stoked at the time because Motorhead had released one of rock's must-have albums, Ace Of Spades, as well as one of the great live albums of all-time, No Sleep Till Hammersmith. Getting to work with a rock legend like Lemmy was sure to be a career highlight. Oh, how right I was.

The band pulled in to Toronto as the opening act on the Alice Cooper tour. Though their availability was limited, I managed to arrange a pre-taped interview at Q107 and a live interview on MuchMusic's Power Hour. I drove up to Maple Leaf Gardens and parked in front of the band's tour bus. The tour manager was right on the ball and within fifteen minutes Lemmy and his mole were in my front seat of my Mazda 626 while Philty Phil lounged in the back.

As we drove up to the Q107 offices, Lemmy announced that he wanted liquor. I told him I'd get them some once the interview was done. They insisted that I get the Jack Daniels right there and then. I told them that we were running late and I was pretty sure they didn't allow liquor in the studio at Q. Lemmy didn't care. He swore that he wouldn't do the interview unless I got him his drink. I made a deal with them - "Let's go to Q and while you do the interview I'll get the Jack Daniels. as soon as you come out of the studio, it's yours." Either Lemmy or his mole galumphed which I took as "okay."

I returned to the studio only to discover that Lemmy and Phil sat in the studio the entire time I was gone, refusing to say a word until I got back with the bottle. Joey Vendetta was doing the interview and reluctantly gave each of the guys a taste. When we were done at Q we headed back to my car for the drive to the MuchMusic studios.

The whole way done University Avenue, Lemmy and Phil exchanged the bottle taking long swigs. When we got to Much we were told that they couldn't bring bottle in to the studio. I explained to the producer that they wouldn't talk without the drink and since they were scheduled to go out live as co-hosts it could cause a bit of a problem. The solution was pouring the booze in to two nondescript cups from which the guys would chug throughout the show.

If you saw the tape of their interview you'd be able to watch these two rock giants get blitzed over the course of the next hour. The highlight came at the end of the interview. We had a giant Orgasmatron poster that the band was to sign for a contest winner. The plan was to hold up the poster and have the guys encourage viewers to write in for the contest. They held up the poster alright but then they started to eat it. No, seriously. Both Lemmy and Phil started to rip chunks off the poster and stuff them down their mouths. The Power Hour ended, mercifully at 5:00pm and we drove back to Maple Leaf Gardens.

But, dear reader, the story has not yet ended...

After Motorhead's set I was to go back to the dressing room and have them sign the poster. I stood at the door and knocked and knocked and knocked. After 15 minutes, the road manager came out and said he'd take the poster in, get the guys to sign it and come right back out. 15 minutes later and nothing. 30 minutes later and still no poster. No one had come in or left the dressing room. Alice Cooper finished his 90 minute set and still nothing. Alice Cooper had taken off the make-up and still no poster.

Around 11:30pm the door finally opened and the road manager apologized that the poster still hadn't been signed. He invited me in to try and get it signed myself. When I entered the room I saw the poster on the ground covered in foot prints. I picked it up and in defiance I walked up to each bandmember asking them to sign. I went to Lemmy last and he refused. I was pissed off and couldn't leave the room without Lemmy's signature. That would have been like leaving the Beatles dressing room without Lennon's John Hancock. He tried to walk away but I followed him and reminded him that I got him his liquor when he neither allowed it or deserved it. He took my Sharpie without a word and grudgingly scratch his name in to the poster.

A year later I ran in to the road manager at Rock n Roll Heaven. he wasn't with Motorhead anymore. he apologized to me for the band's behaviour that day. It turns out that as they arrived in the bus Lemmy announced to the band that they would be treating the local promo rep (in this case me) like shit, just for the fun of it. Oh joy! Lucky me!