My Best KISS Story

When I worked for Aucoin Management, one of my regular responsibilities was to file or pick up financials in the company's warehouse in a non-descript building on the West side of Manhattan. The warehouse was also used for storage for the equipment of all of Aucoin's bands. Among the boxes of documents and cases of guitars were back lit logos that hung above the drummer of any one of a number of bands that Bill Aucoin had managed over the years (including my very fave - Starz). The way it worked was I'd show up, sign in and get handed a box of keys that opened the various locks to each of Aucoin's rented rooms. When I was done, I handed back the box and signed out.

Although Aucoin no longer worked with KISS, the band still used the very same warehouse to store there instruments and costumes from over the years. As it happens, the keys to the KISS room were still in the Aucoin box. I avoided going in there for months but one day, curiosity got the better of me. I pulled the one key I had never touched before out of the box. I slipped it into the lock and turned it over. The locked snapped open and I opened the door.

This was a dream come true. Do you remember the seventies? back then we all had giant posters on our walls of our favourite bands. Spread out in front of me were all of the bits of stage gear and guitars that were featured in the KISS posters adorning my walls. There were boots and capes and boas and guitars and a mirror. A mirror! In a warehouse! This was a sign.

I first moved to my left to slip on those famous Demon boots from the cover of Destroyer. I zipped them up and found myself floating a good six inches off the floor. Next, I grabbed Ace's cape used on the Dynasty tour and flung that over my back. Do you remember those pictures inside of KISS Alive of Paul Stanley with feather armbands? Well I slipped one on each arm and then reached for a shattered mirrored Gibson marauder guitar which I slung over my neck. I lurched over to the mirror and caught my first glimpse. No matter how hard you might be laughing right now, I was laughing twice as hard. I don't know if it looked ridiculous or if I was just giddy but I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I began to play "Rock N Roll All Nite" and then moved into "Black Diamond" and "Strutter."

I wore the get up for 15 minutes and then thought I should get it off before security walked in and kicked me out of the building for good. After I locked the door, I got the paper work I had originally come there for. I kept the story a secret for about 5 years which seemed like a lifetime. Now everyone know.

This is a true story.

Lynyrd Skynyrd

When I was about 14, my first job was selling t-shirts at the Canadian National Exhibition during their annual late August run. Back then customers got to choose the t-shirt and the decal that goes on it along with what ever message they wanted pressed on the back. I'd slide the shirt onto a rubber pad, centre the decal and then lock the iron press in place. Voila! A brand new customized t-shirt.

Most of what we sold that summer were Black Sabbath and Alice Cooper T's. But a few times a week I'd get a request for that one weird logo with the skulls and guns for a band called Lynyrd Skynyrd. I had no idea who the band was and I certainly couldn't pronounce the name. The summer ended and I got paid which was all I cared about (though it was much less than I thought I would get).

A couple of years later I started working for CPI handing out their Cheap Thrills magazine at concerts. The big perk was getting into concerts for free! One night the Doobie Brothers headlined Maple Leaf Gardens and Lynyrd Skynyrd opened the show. By the time the final notes of the triple guitar solo at the end of "Free Bird" melded with the din of the audience, I was already out of the arena and on my way to sam the Record man to by the band's latest record, One More From The Road. I hopped on the subway and headed home. I never saw the Doobies that night.

Once I got the record home I put it on the stereo and immediately became a huge fan. I got out my guitar and started to learn "Saturday Night Special," "Gimme Three Steps," "Sweet Home Alabama" and, of course, "Free Bird." I became one of those people that tried to spread the gospel. The next summer, on the eve of the release of Street Survivors, I headed to Rich Stadium where the original line-up performed on one of those giant bills (Ted Nugent, Blue Oyster Cult, Starz, Aerosmith).

I made sure I bought Street Survivors the day it came out. When tickets went on sale for the band's first Maple Leaf Gardens headlining show, I made sure I had tickets in hand. And then came the painful news of the crash that killed Ronnie Van Zandt, Steve Gaines and Cassie Gaines. Just like that, Lynyrd Skynyrd was through.

In the ensuing years I bought or paid attention to whatever music came from each of the surviving members. Some of it was good and some of it wasn't so good. None of it captured the original magic of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

In the late 80's the band reformed and started touring but I was looking for the real thing and didn't pay too much attention. That was until the early 90's when Warner became affiliated with the band through Capricorn Records. They came to Toronto to play the Kingswood Music Theatre and I finally had a chance to tell the band my story. At the end of the story they invited me to watch the show from the side of the stage which is, to this day, one of the great highlights of my rock 'n' roll life. To be standing next to Gary Rossington's amp during "Free Bird" is priceless.

The El Mocambo

There was a period of time in the mid-seventies when my friends and I would go see bands at the El Mocambo on a pretty regular basis. We'd always show up early enough to get ourselves great seats right up front. Although I didn't drink, I felt an obligation to order a beer so that the wait staff wouldn't bug me. I nursed those babies all night long.

I didn't see the Stones there but my friends did. Then there was the night that Cheap Trick played Toronto for the first time and Rick Neilsen stuck his guitar through the roof and left it hanging there. CHUM FM used to tape tons of shows in those days. If you can get your hands on the bootleg, it was a pretty amazing show. The band played three sets a night for two night and the way I remember it, "Hello There" was the only song they performed more than once.

I'm remembering the night The Runaways played two sets. Cherie Curry wasn't in the band anymore. Joan Jett sang lead. In between shows they took off for the CBC to appear on the Peter Gzowski show.

There's an infamous story about Elvis Costello's first Toronto show. The line-up went down the block and yet he was able to walk by the crowds and into the club without anyone noticing.

Judas Priest played the club with a full arsenal of amps set up against the back wall. How we never lost our hearing that night is a minor miracle.

My personal favourite was Starz. Everyone has a guilty pleasure to differentiate themselves from their friends. Mine was Starz. The band was in Toronto to record their fourth album (Coliseum Rock) and ended up heading over to the El Mo for their first and only Toronto shows. The night was bliss...for me.

The El Mocambo is booking bands again and the place still has a vibe though it probably will never regain the aura it once had.

There ain't no army helicopter that can stop rock and roll!

We've been busy with the Juno Awards for the past couple of weeks we has kept me from logging on. I think that this year marked my 23rd consecutive Juno Awards. Here are some memories:

Gordon Lightfoot nervously pacing around waiting to be inducted by Bob Dylan into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame. A cigarette was dangling from his mouth with ashes dripping onto his red velvet jacket.

I was in the meeting where they announced that they had secured Milli Vanilli as a performer. I've always been a bit of a s--t disturber and wasn't shy to raise my voice in protest. Apparently I was the only person in the room that had heard the rumours that Milli Vanilli didn't really sing on their album. They ended up performing.

One of the proudest moments of my career was when my endless faxes of Maestro Fresh West landed him a performance slot on the show making him the first hip hop artist to be seen on the Junos.

Getting to talk with Joe Perry backstage in Vancouver. Everyone was preening all over Steven Tyler (remember when he said "A Lie Us" instead of Alias?) so I got quality time with Uncle Joe.

Standing at the side of the stage at the Hummingbird Centre and congratulating a very young Alanis on her best New Artist Juno.

Oh and there was that great one with Sebastian Bach! The show had just ended and we were leaving the theatre. Sebastian walked in front of our Prime Minister at the time, Kim Campbell, who made some comment about using army helicopters to get him out of her way. Bach turned to her and said "There ain't no army helicopter that can stop rock and roll!" Classic.